The Past and Present
by TalkN3rdyToMe
Summary: She's breaking. Everyday, she relies more and more on the sting of the razor for relief and falls deeper into depression and self-hatred as she is bullied and abused. He's lost. Everyday, he finds himself remembering the pain of losing his true love and paying for it by keeping it all to himself. What happens when he meets someone who is deeper into the dark than he is?


Prologue- Their Pasts

* * *

Andre tipped my chin up, and kissed me. I was so shocked, I froze completely, not doing anything. Then, after a few minutes, I pushed him away from me and back away, against one of the lockers. What I didn't realize was that Mia was already there, and she had seen.

"R-Rose?" she whispered, and I jerked my head in her direction. My eyes widened as I thought about all the scenarios that could be going through her head. I chose the worst one to linger on.

"You bitch!" she screamed, lunging at me. Andre moved in front of me immediately and shielded me from her, shouting at her to stop. She kicked and punched at me, screaming insults and things I'd never thought I'd hear from her mouth.

After a little while of struggling, she stopped the physical abuse but continued to shout at me verbally.

"Fucking whore! You slept with my boyfriend! What kind of fucking friend are you? You're just a good for nothing piece of ass! You're nothing but a slut! I never want to see your ugly fucked face again!" The insults just kept beating at me, and I felt tears sting at the corners of my eyes. I didn't sleep with Andre. I didn't love Andre. I didn't even kiss him, he kissed me! But I kept my mouth shut, so Andre wouldn't take any blame. I refused to look at him, so Mia wouldn't get anymore wrong ideas. Instead, I hung my head in shame, for losing a precious friend.

* * *

Lissa looked at me with sympathetic eyes, trying to cheer me up, but I was just too somber. Finally, she decided something.

"Let's go shopping. That'll make you feel better!" she said cheerfully for me. I smiled weakly at her, though I honestly doubted it. The mall was full of memories of Mia too, of her shopping with us, of her laughing with us, of her fighting with us. So many memories.

But I followed her outside to the car anyway, waiting for her mom. I decided to at least act like this was all cheering me up, I didn't want to make Lissa feel like she wasn't appreciated either.

Rhea, Lissa's mom, came out soon and got into the car. Lissa looked at me with a panicked expression, and before I could ask why, Eric, Lissa's father, and Andre approached the car too.

At the sight of Andre, I froze up completely, just like when he kissed me. Rhea didn't know that Andre had anything to do with my mood, so when she spoke up, her tone stayed cheerful.

"Eric and Andre need to go somewhere too. I hope you don't mind, Rose," she said.

"Not at all," I said, nonchalantly. Then Rhea took off in the direction of the mall.

During the car ride, Lissa continued to try to make conversation to lighten up the mood.

"So Andre," she said. "Did you finish that homework assignment you were complaining about yesterday?"

"Yeah," he said shortly.

"Was it hard?" she continued. "You wanted me to help, right? Because I can, I just need the paper, and I don't know where you put it. And-"

"I don't need your help," Andre interupted, glaring at her. Lissa had started to ramble.

"Kids," Rhea said in a warning tone. "Don't fight. We don't need anymore negative energy to effect Rose's mood- AH!"

Suddenly, side of the car that I was sitting on crushed inside, and the car started skidding towards a tree. My eyes widened and my mouth opened in a silent scream. Because of the way the car was moving, I was going to be killed instantly. Lots of thoughts rushed through my head, mostly depressing ones. Just as I was prepared to die, I felt myself being unbuckled and pushed to the opposite side, where Lissa was. I opened my eyes, not realizing that I had shut them, and saw a flash of dark brown hair and jade green eyes. Then, the car crashed into the tree, and stopped moving.

I was thrown against Lissa because I wasn't buckled in my seat belt, though no severe damage was done. I looked at Lissa and saw that she was crying. I followed her gaze and found that Eric, Rhea, and Andre were unmoving with their eyes closed.

My eyes widened as realization fell upon me. Andre had saved me. Me, who wasn't worth saving. Then, guilt clouded my mind. If I hadn't gone to Lissa sulking, I wouldn't have been in this car. I wouldn't have caused us to go to the mall. I wouldn't have killed Lissa's family. I would've suffered in silence.

Lissa was yelling, screaming for Andre and her parents to wake up, but they didn't. They never did. Then, she seemed to realize what I did and started shouting at me like Mia did. She called me all the things that I was. It took her too long to realize those things. I had harmed her, just like Father had told me I would.

* * *

I had lost this game. This one game. Michael was going to be pissed. In the locker room, everyone glared at the guy that had lost it for us. It wasn't me. Still, I scolded and chastised myself endlessly, repeating to me what Michael had said I was. Useless. Worthless. Couldn't do anything right. A burden. Unnecessary.

When I got home, I was immediately pushed up against a wall and choked. Fear rushed into my brain and I couldn't concentrate on anything else. Dark eyes glared at me, and brown hair moved into my vision. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I was full of fear.

"You little shit. You didn't win the fucking game. It was so easy too, you were up against an amateur team. What a disgrace," he sneered. Then he rained blows on me, making new injuries along with the ones I had gained from sports.

As he kicked me, he continued knocking my confidence own. "You're such an embarassment. You just threw away everything that I taught you, huh? You're a waste of time!"

The beating continued, and it didn't stop until I had passed out. Just as black spots danced in my vision, Michael made another comment, "Weak and pathetic," before my face met a fist and I blacked out.

* * *

I stroked Clary's hair, kissing her eyelids and her lips. "I'm okay," I said weakly.

Clary opened her eyes and glared fiercely at me. "No, you're not. Look at yourself Jace!" she caressed my chest and I flinched. "See? There are bruises EVERYWHERE on your body. I'm going to go murder that dick of a father!" she said, climbing out her window. I panicked.

"Don't leave me!" I cried, grabbing her wrist. Clary turned around so I could see her face instead of her fiery red curls. Her expression softened at the sight of my vulnerableness, but she had made up her mind and wasn't going to back up on her decision.

"No," she growled. "The son of a bitch is abusing you, Jace. Why won't you let me do something about it? From when I found out, I've kept quiet, but I can't anymore. I don't like this. It's wrong." She stroked my cheek. Then her gaze hardened again. "I'm going."

I attempted to stop Clary from leaving again, but this time, I was too slow. I cursed my injuries and followed her out her window, wincing as pressure was put on all my wounds. When I looked in the direction of my house, she was nowhere in sight. Damn, that girl can run. I took off after her sprinting as hard as I could despite the strain on my injuries. When I got to the house Michael had Clary pinned against the wall, whimpering.

"Sonny," he said, glancing at me up and down. "Looks like you brought your pretty little girlfriend. Didn't I tell you to let this one go? Seems like she's still pretty attached to you. Looks like I'll have to teach you a lesson," he sneered. Michael grabbed Clary's hair, which made me flare in anger, and he pulled her hair so that she was looking up at his face. Then, disgustingly, he forced his lips on hers, which, thankfully, she didn't respond to.

Michael suddenly ripped his lips from hers and punched her. His eyes were darkened to black, anger radiating off of him. "You bitch!" he screamed. "RESPOND TO ME! KISS ME BACK! BE THE WHORE THAT YOU ARE!"

I couldn't watch this anymore. It wasn't a long while, but I felt my body unconsciously lunge towards Michael, knocking him to the ground while Clary crawled away. Surprise was evident on his face for a split second before he grunted and started struggling in my hold. I was surprised at how weak he was compared to me, then my eyes darkened as self-hatred settled. I could've fought back; could've done something about the abuse all these years. Turns out that him training me so hard made me tougher and stronger than him by a long-shot.

I punched him, kicked him, elbowed him, kneed him; all that he had done to me all these years except without cruelness; just hatred. I had him pinned underneath me battered and bruised in a short while, and I laughed. Hysterical laughter. I had completely forgotten that Clary was here and he was watching, until she whimpered. My head whipped around to look at her, and in that split second that it took, I had loosened my hold on Michael.

He immediately took the chance and kicked me off weakly, though I was so surprised that it I fell back and let him go. He staggered over to a corner where he picked up an unidentified object.

"Sonny boy, you haven't won this battle yet." He then pointed the object at me, and fear coursed through my lungs. _A gun_.

He laughed weakly, wincing as his entire body shook. "Say goodbye to your pretty little girlfriend, Goldy Locks!"

That reminded me of Clary. I realized that if I got shot, then it would give her the time she needed to run. I whipped around immediately.

"Clary. I need you to listen to me. Forget about me. Okay? Forget about us. Forget about me and this fucked-upness. Run. Run far away from here. Just-just promise me something. Tell someone about Michael. Please?" I begged her with a pleading expression. She started crying, tears slipping down her cheeks uncontrollably. She understood what would happen to me if she ran.

"No! No, Jace, I need you to live! Please, please, please don't leave me!" she cried desperately, clinging onto my arm. Unfortunately, this wasn't going to solve anything. I pushed her away, my gaze hardening.

"Clary, I need you to leave. NOW." I glanced back at Michael, and he was smirking at us.

"Cute. You hear that, Red? If you want to keep living, you gotta run and let him die. Otherwise, why don't you join him at his funeral?" Michael said, laughing sadistically.

Clary crossed her arms stubbornly. "I'll join him."

My head whipped to face her. "What?"

"I said, I'll join you. Please, shoot me first," Clary asked. My eyes widened. I knew what she was trying to do. Depending on who Michael shot first, the other could escape. But the one who died should be me. I was the worthless one, the useless one. At least Clary has reasons to live. I didn't.

Michael laughed again. "I'll take you up on that offer someday, but I'm afraid someday is not today. Goodbye, good for nothing slut!" His finger pressed against the trigger. I heard a loud boom and a piercing scream before a figure moved in front of my vision. _NO_.

"NO!" someone screamed. I realized this person was me. A loud thud echoed through the room. Michael had passed out.

Strangely, I didn't feel any pain. It took me a moment to realize what happened, and then I broke down. Clary lay in front of my face, slowly bleeding painfully to death because of a bullet wound in her chest. Her gorgeous red hair was spread out beside her face like a fan, and her freckles seemed to stand out even more in the dim light. Her pale skin was flawless and soft, and she shivered from the cold.

"No," I cried. "Clary... WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?" I screamed. I shouted more curse words out and punched the wall. I stopped though, when I heard a soft voice.

"Jace..." I looked over at my angel, and she was calling my name. I called over to her, knuckles torn and bloodly, and stroked her face.

"Clary... I'm not worth it. I wasn't worth it. Why did you save me? I wouldn't trade myself for air. It's all my fault your dying. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault."

"Hey," she said softly, a tired expression on her face. "You are worth saving. Believe me Jace, you are. Your worth a million tons of gold, and your worth more than the ability to fly. Believe me Jace, you are."

"Clary, don't leave me. Please... No, you'll be fine. We need to call an ambulance and you'll be fine right? Clary, you'll be fine..." I frantically searched around for a phone, before she grabbed my wrist with the rest of her strength. Her eyes were closing slowly, and she looked peaceful.

"NO! Clary, don't leave me! Don't fall asleep, please don't close your eyes! Please..." I begged her.

"Goodbye, Jace. I'll be waiting for you..." And her eyes closed. The last part was whispered so softly that I almost couldn't hear it. I stood there for a while, feeling numb. Then, I screamed until my throat burned so badly I couldn't scream anymore, and I punched the wall so hard my fist went right through it. I kept doing it again and again, until I passed out from the pain. Even as I collasped, I wondered why it wasn't me who had died, who had saved her instead of the other way around.

* * *

/3. I feel horrible writing this, but it's essential to the story, as they will need to eventually share their pasts to be together and help each other. I personally love stories like these, because it proves how strong the characters are to get over another hurdle and move it. It's amazing what imagination can do, isn't it?

Review if you wanna. I dun car. hfrpugeuhgoewgheoighege_butitwouldbeniceifyoudidplease_heuhuogugor.


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